Exec Sum

PE has taken a liking to failing banks, OpenAI exposed Musk for hypocrisy, the Fed may reduce Basel capital burdens, Binance launched a perfume, Nvidia insiders cashed in, and NASA is recruiting astronauts in what may be the most competitive job ever.

PwC stripped some partners of leadership, US will probe healthcare PE, global M&A is on for a recovery, bond investors are punishing banks with heavy CRE exposure, Zillow was hit by a short seller report, Miami Beach is sick of spring breakers, and crypto had a day.

Goldman’s CIO said don’t invest in China, Reddit traders are threatening to short Reddit’s IPO, corporate junk debt defaults are kicking in, UK may allow private firms to trade on exchanges, cash returns now equal bonds’, and Whole Foods is launching NYC bodegas.

BlackRock abandoned “ESG” investing, Wall Street is retreating on DEI efforts, quantitative tightening is barely working, Super Micro is up 2000% in two years, Fitch downgraded NYCB to junk, Musk sued OpenAI, and Millennials are set to inherit $90 trillion.

Crypto HF mangers are working around the clock, Ray Dalio does not see US markets as in a bubble, trouble is intensifying at NYCB, New York shut down a Harvard MBA-run Ponzi scheme, Nasdaq closed at an all-time high, and Chemours is showing signs of an Enron.

Financial Times launched a venture arm, SBF is advising prison guards on crypto, the SEC is investigating OpenAI, Wendy’s canceled its surge pricing plans, OpenAI accused NYT of manipulating ChatGPT, Universal Music is escalating its feud with TikTok, and Bitcoin’s rally caused Coinbase to crash.

McKinsey is in hot water over their China relationship, investors are growing nervous about the private credit boom, SEC accused an ex-CEO of orchestrating a meme-stock rally, the European parliament banned Amazon lobbyists, and Wendy’s will test surge pricing in 2025.

JPMorgan and Citigroup reshuffled some IB leadership, Nvidia bets are dominating options markets, Nvidia is now the most desirable place to work, hedge funds are dropping tech stocks, big tobacco is struggling to stay relevant, and Google saw a $90B sell-off over their AI debacle.

Goldman is facing a new wave of leadership unrest, markets are rallying to new highs, energy traders are sitting on massive cash piles, investors are fleeing non-Tesla EV stocks, some retailers are fearing deflation, and Litquidity continues to bring pay transparency to the street.

PE firms are resorting to new fundraising tactics, investors are swapping gold ETFs for Bitcoin ETFs, Jamie Dimon sold $150M of his shares, Nvidia identified Huawei as a top competitor, retail investors likely drove the recent crypto rally, and Gemini restricted AI image generation amid comical racial inaccuracies.

PE payouts are plummeting, hedge funds are ditching US stocks, investors are ploughing into US farmland, China is scrutinizing quant funds, Japanese stocks hit an all-time high, Apple released a free new sports app, and Nvidia delivered on its earnings hype.

Markets are preparing for Nvidia’s blockbuster earnings today, Amazon is joining the Dow Jones index, Musk’s Neuralink seems to be working, the Conference Board abandoned a US recession forecast, US asset managers are readying for a China recovery, and FuboTV is suing US media giants over competition concerns.